Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Adoption Awareness Month: Waiting… Again

by Renee Hoyt

My husband and I are awaiting a match for a domestic newborn adoption. Like many other potential adoptive parents, we don’t know how long this could take. However, we have been here before. Our adoption application was approved to seek a birth parent match 8 months ago, and we were selected by a potential birth mother only 4 months after that. However, she changed her mind when she delivered and decided to parent her baby.

Now that we’ve gone through a wait before, and lived a few months expecting to be parents very soon, this wait seems different. We are already more prepared to receive a newborn baby than we were the first time, including having car seats, a bassinet and other baby items in our home. However, since we live in a small apartment, we’ve stored many of the baby gear items in the closet in the future baby’s room and at my in-law’s house. The failed adoption made it difficult to see those things daily with no baby using them.

Perspective is a wonderful thing. We know there is a baby out there for us, and that first one wasn’t the child, though we had convinced ourselves he was while we awaited his birth. It is only a matter of time—could be weeks, or it could be months—and we will be parents. When adoptive parents get to this stage, the anxiety and the nerves can really get the best of them. One thing I believe we gained in our recent experience was an understanding of how things can turn out. We are very excited, and we also have a better ability to be patient this time around.

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About Renee
Renee and her husband have been married for 16 years, and together for 20. They tried starting a family late into our marriage due to layoffs and a problem with their first house. They are now awaiting a domestic newborn adoption. Renee shares her stories with others in similar situations on Adoptive Families Circle.